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flamesandashes

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a-holo-fan-189

Christmas Present - Summonings by a-holo-fan-189, literature

Still Alive! by a-holo-fan-189, journal

  • May 17, 1997
  • Deviant for 11 years
  • She / Her
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Llama: Llamas are awesome! (9)

Random thoughts

6 min read
Let's see, I've been practicing Wicca (my new religion) since April 12 2020, when everything was a mess (still is) for me. Looking back at the previous journal which I don't publish and don't intend to, I see no improvements at all. I'm still feeling shitty, despite my attempt to correct stuffs, a small part of it comes from my obsession over a guy. I don't blame him at all, just my stubbornness. Good thing now that he's annoyed at me, so there won't be much communication going on between us. Out of sight, out of mind, right? I need that. My health and self esteem are getting worse day by day. Do I intend to change that? I'm trying to. My only hope now would be that I don't fall back into that loop of opening up to him, get attached, get giggly and crushing all over him again. So I'm glad that he's not talking to me (really). He only tries to be friendly, and I have hoped for more. So what does Wicca has to with all of this? It's for me to have a fall back plan, whenever I'm despair
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Not sure why I'm updating this since I've zoned out of DA for a very long time. Maybe I'm seeking attention or maybe I'm just wanting to leave something here, like a clue. Art is my only way out of this world. Creating arts is not always my strength but for some reasons, I find myself up in the middle of the night drawing or composing. Lately, I've been involved in performing (dances and music). My mind completely wanders off to another space and dimension. Guess if it works to prevent all my dark thoughts then I'll just continue. My portfolio is a reflection of my thoughts process from time to time but I chose to keep them for myself.
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I feel like writing the journal today. It's been such a long time for me to come back here, and I'm not that keen on producing any art works or so on (only admire the works others did). But I need company :( And this site seems like the only place I can go on and babbling about my issues without any hold-backs (No one I know to judge me). Anyway, I had a terrible day...or I've been feeling terrible for the past weeks but I can stand it, until today. I don't really know why I'm feeling this, perhaps it's about school work, too much I think (I have a math test and English assignment due tmr and haven't start anything yet). Second thing would my
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Profile Comments 77

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Thanks so much for faving 'Seam Stress.' :glomp:

(Apologies for being so late in thanking you.) :oops:
Thanks for the fave!!

Also, a bit of a shameless plug, but if you would like to keep up with my work, other than the work that gets put up on dA, then you should totally head over to my Facebook page and hit "Like"(Link in my signature). It would totally make my day! 

Either way, thanks for the fave. ^.^ 
no worries :) and i'll check out the link 

Thank you very much for the Fave. flamesandashes.deviantart.com/… :)

Greatly appreciated. ~Raymond

Thanks for faving :)